Courtesy of Norfolk State Athletic Communications

We Stand With Her video courtesy of Norfolk State


NORFOLK, Va. – Every year when October rolls around, the color pink takes over. You see it on uniforms, in the stands, on social media and just about anywhere else you can think in the sports world. That pink you see, of course, is for Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
 
But for Norfolk State head volleyball coach Kathy Bullock, it means just a little more when the month of October arrives. Exactly 18 years ago, she became one of those survivors, the ones who those pink ribbons are there to support. And just one year ago, again in October, she lost her own mother to the disease.
 
It is not easy to hear those words, especially more than once in a lifetime no matter whom they are directed at. Bullock, however, remembers her diagnosis like it was yesterday.
 
The sun shined bright on that day in 2002, right during the middle of volleyball season. The doctor gave her the news. She had breast cancer. At the time, she was in her ninth year as the head coach at her alma mater, North Carolina A&T State. She also had a young daughter, Kayla. As one can imagine, it was difficult for Bullock to take in.
 
"When I was told I had cancer, I remember feeling shocked and let down by God," she said. "The only thing I remember thinking that day was that my beautiful 2-year-old daughter could be without a mom. Since my mom was my rock, I didn't think my daughter could make it."
 
Bullock had no reason to think she would ever get cancer, not at the age of 37 and with no family history of it. After all, she was in her prime, leading a successful Aggies program that was coming off a 23-win season. Cancer was the last thing on her mind. But her gynecologist, a strong Jamaican woman as Bullock described, convinced her to get a mammogram. It was recommended for anyone over the age of 35.

Fortunately, Bullock listened.
 
Doctors told her she needed surgery right away, and a few days after her diagnosis, they performed a mastectomy. They told her if she had waited just six weeks, she would have died. But after her post-surgery checkups, she was declared cancer-free. Thankfully, it had not spread to other parts of her body.
 
And believe it or not, she was back at practice just four days after surgery, now serving as an obvious inspiration to the team.
 
"It really motivated the players to see me come back. I didn't know how they would respond. I didn't want to be a distraction. I wanted them to be focused. And we went out and had one of our best seasons ever," Bullock, who led the program to another 20-win season that year, said.
 
It was certainly a roller coaster ride in just a short amount of time, one that can give a survivor a new lease on life.
 
"My initial feeling was, why me? I felt sorry for myself because from everything that I knew about cancer, I wasn't going to live much longer," Bullock said. "I have always been spiritual, but I felt like I was saved by God's grace. I realized He wasn't done with me yet.
 
"I decided to be on a mission to grow and develop young people. To make the best out of life, I put all my effort into being the best and not allowing any circumstance to dictate who I was meant to be in life."
 
Her triumph over the disease also made Bullock want to learn more about breast cancer. She wanted to make sure family, friends or anyone else didn't fall into the same situation. And if they did, she would be there to help them through it.
 
More than a decade later, it was that strength and determination that allowed Bullock to be there for her mom, this time to be "her rock" after her mother was diagnosed with cancer in 2015. It was if she was reliving her own diagnosis.
 
"I felt like I was being punked," Bullock said. "My mom, my best friend, my ride or die. I kept thinking to myself, 'Jesus, what am I doing wrong?' But this time it was different. This time, my mom needed me."
 
Bullock was in Tennessee by then, as the head coach of the Tennessee State program. She married her husband Darryl that same year, and her daughter was thriving in high school. Bullock relied on that support as she in turn supported her mother.
 
And at first, her mother "was beating cancer's behind." After a while, chemotherapy or radiation were not even needed. And after her daughter graduated from high school, Bullock and her family moved back to North Carolina, where her mother was from.

But then the disease came back.
 
Her mother's cancer returned with a vengeance, spreading like wildfire as Bullock stated. But again, she was not going to get down because of a cancer diagnosis. She was going to be right beside her mother through the chemo sessions and rehab.
 
"We were still hopeful because my mom raised four strong, successful kids, and she was the strongest women I have ever met," Bullock said. "The doctors couldn't believe her strength and ability, but we could. She has always been a fighter, motivator, teacher and the best cook in the world as well."
 
But more than four years after the original diagnosis, Bullock's mother succumbed to the disease. Last October during Bullock's first year with NSU, right in the middle of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, no less. And right around the time of Bullock's own diagnosis years earlier.
 
"It devastated me. At that time, I decided to get tested for the cancer gene, and I was told I that didn't have it," Bullock said. "This was a surprise to me, but not to the doctors. They stated that it just happened that both my mom and I got cancer."
 
Just like her own battle with cancer gave Bullock a new outlook, her mother's diagnosis and subsequent passing did the same.
 
"So once again, I decided to live healthier, be as positive as I can, and represent my mother's legacy of being a winner," Bullock said. "She would always say, 'You've got this. Show them who you are.'"
 
Bullock has made sure to get her yearly mammogram ever since her fight with the disease. And the passing of her mother has brought her closer to her siblings: Kim Graham-Miller, a member of the 1996 4x400 gold medal-winning relay team for the U.S.; Jay Graham, a former professional football player and current University of Tennessee assistant coach; and Sonja Graham, a corporate banker.
 
But nearly a year after her mother's passing, Bullock has barely touched anything in the room her mother stayed in. As she looks back at her original diagnosis, she realizes how profoundly it affected her.
 
"It was a life-changing event. It makes you want to do things to make yourself more whole."